HOW DO YOU STOP SPINNING AND CATCH A BREATH?
At some point in our lives we find ourselves ‘spinning our wheels’ or ‘spinning round like record’ and along with this comes the feeling that we’re no longer in control of what’s happening around us and, more importantly, to us.
There’s some comfort knowing that it’s not just us and that most people experience this as some point or another. With the global uncertainty, those times are showing up more regularly and staying for a little longer than usual.
Uncertainty has a way of wrangling its way into our lives and chipping away at parts of our lives, and when unchecked it can undermine areas in which we would otherwise feel confident. The overwhelm, second guessing ourselves, dwelling on worst case scenarios. It's exhausting.
Our resilience is challenged and we find ourselves building endless ‘to do’ lists, full of tasks and activities either to keep ourselves busy (and the emotions at bay) or because we believe that’s what ‘normal’ people do.
And yet, ironically, it seems to feed the spinning, the overwhelm and our negative self-perception.
How do you stop the spinning and catch a breath?
Here are a couple of tools you may want to try to break the cycle.
1. Prioritise ONE thing
Each day, before you crack on with emails, getting the kids ready for home-schooling, whatever it is that you start with, find 10 minutes of alone time, in a place that you like and figure out what’s going to make a difference to your day.
Do it for 2, maybe 3, parts of your life – what’s going to make a difference to you today, and what’s going make a difference to work or your family or whatever else is a number 2 or 3 priority for you.
Here’s a tip…. Always start with what is going to make a difference to you. You have to be your number 1 priority. It may sound cliché but you cannot be excellent, at anything, if you’re not looking after yourself. Just think about all those times when you’ve been burning the candle at both ends – you feel like you’re working endlessly and nothing’s being done well.
Ask yourself the following questions, and do it for both priorities:
- What’s one thing that’s important to me today? (or your #2 priority for the day)
- What will be different if I can do what’s important?
- What needs to happen for me to do what’s important?
- When will I do this today?
Then put it in your diary, and get it done. Resist the temptation to create a list of 10 things to do today. There are plenty of days to come which means plenty of opportunities to get to all those things on our ‘important’ lists.
When you’ve done it, reflect on how you’re feeling and what’s different now that it’s done.
2. Prioritise JOY
Yep, you heard that right – bring joy into your life.
We all talk about making time for exercise, eeking out another 15mins for a second (or third) walk of the day. You know what – that’s awesome! Movement is incredibly important.
Here’s a question for you – are you going for a second or third walk because you enjoy it, you know you’ll feel better, or because you think you should?
What would happen if, instead of going for the second or third walk, you did something that genuinely brings you joy?
I’ll give you a couple of examples:
- I know exercise is good for me, I know cycling is good for my joints and I really wanted to get back into cycling. Then I realised I was wanting to get back into it for the wrong reasons. It was a punish. I was getting back into it for all the ‘shoulda’s – lose weight, get fit… you get the idea. I could come up with a thousand reasons (weight, lycra, fitness etc) to avoid getting back in the saddle. It wasn’t until I did my ‘joy’ exercise that I realised the only reason for me to get back on the bike is because I genuinely love cycling. It brings me joy. All the ‘shoulda’s will happen the more I spend time enjoying the ride. What’s the upside, what’s different? I start my day with something that brings me joy and regardless of what happens throughout the day, I have done something I love, something I look forward to tomorrow and my approach to everything is improved.
- Then there’s Laura (not her real name). Laura’s in lockdown – like a lot of Aussies at the moment – and wasn’t feeling on top of her game. What she did know, however, is that music is a source of personal joy for her. Laura’s an avid piano player and for some time had been putting work, her family, everything before finding a moment of joy for herself. When we spoke, Laura was planning on restarting her music practice – in the next few days, few weeks, or so… We had a short, yet impactful conversation – that afternoon she restarted her music practice and the following morning Laura sent me an email saying how excited and happy she was – she was a bit rusty, but gosh, it felt great, and she’d chosen a new piece of music to learn and master over the next couple of weeks. Her whole approach had changed because she found 30mins a day to spend time on something that she finds joyful.
Never underestimate the impact of joy in your life.
30 minutes of joy, genuine “I LOVE THIS” time is a game changer.
It breaks the cycle of spinning, of feeling out of control, of things happening ‘to’ you.
There’s a whole world of study out there that speaks to the benefits of joy (happiness) – and goes beyond mood to quality of sleep, clarity of mind and to digestion.
So some more questions for you:
- What brings you joy?
- What do you need to do to bring that joy into your life today? (No, not tomorrow, not next week, not sometime in the future, but today).
Give these simple daily rituals a go. Do them today, reflect on them and how you feel, then do the exercises again the following day… and so on.
Your double-sided A4 To Do lists aren’t going to happen in one day, we all know that, so focus one doing ONE thing that’s important to you and for work / family / another priority and schedule a little genuine joy into your day.
When you’ve done it, I’d love to know what kind of difference it’s made to your days and to that sense of endless spinning that you may have.